'I miss you'
The words stabbed me in the heart.
I actually felt more frustrated, angry and had the biggest urge to pull out his Russell Brand style hair. You can't play with people's feelings, it's just not fair. Sometimes I wish life was simple, but it's just an emotional playground. My heart has been pushed on a swing, my happiness left to skip on a rope, and my mind continues to spin on a roundabout.
Wondering when the whistle will finally blow....
Sunday evening was the first time I have spoken to rocker guy properly since the break-up. Whilst sipping my Yorkshire tea, his name appeared online. I'm sure you know that feeling when even seeing their name makes your heart skip a little beat? Wondering whether you should be the one to say hello first? Well, he broke the ice (which made me feel ever so slightly smug) after a few awkward silences, we ended up having a really good conversation about Uni life, his best friend sleeping with a librarian and the fact that he misses watching fawlty towers with me (good old Basil) .
However, he kept giving me little hints that he misses things about 'us' and is certain I'll see his friends again (who live in Essex). He informed me that he will be home on Tuesday and that I deserve a cup of tea with hobnob biscuits (Hmm, and perhaps a fucking apology?) Of course 'ignoring' him for the past week certainly has bothered him. Perhaps he thought I would be the type of girl to chase him, beg for him back and make a complete fool of myself. He would be wrong of course.
Or even, he's simply looking for an Easter 'bunny hump' and is trying to sweet talk his way into my..... basket full of eggs?
Two hours later, I was applying a chocolate facemask from Lush whilst listening to inspirational love songs (think Bridget Jones). Another text message appeared as I smudged the brown paste onto my cheeks.
'Nothing is set in stone, Goodnight you xxx'
Even though I wanted to reply, I turned my phone off and continued to pamper myself with brown substances.
With his return home tomorrow evening, I'll end this here and continue when I know the answers to my questions.
