I'll rewind a few days...
I was at work, filing records away and sipping my 3rd latte when I casually looked out of the window. For the first time in 3 months I saw 'rocker guy' walking past on the opposite side of the road. Dressed in skinny black jeans, his Oxfam vintage looking coat and his black, messy hair blowing in the wind. He casually strolled past and kept looking over. I must admit , it felt so odd to set eyes on him after all this time. It was weird. I was slightly nervous, mixed with a dreading feeling and a bit of panic. Of course it was obvious I would be seeing him around but because he's been away, it was easier to just simply forget him. 10 minutes or so passed, and just as I was walking towards my desk he waved at me through the window and walked inside. With a big smile, he said 'Hello there stranger' and casually headed towards me. We ended up talking for quite some time (my boss wasn't too happy about this) but he was telling me about his mum, him feeling bored now he's home from Uni and the usual tea, fawlty towers and humorous chit-chat. It did bring back a few memories and in all honestly it was good to see him again (he seemed a bit shy though) But, I know how I feel for 'him' as a person. I just see him as a guy I used to date. When he finally left, I didn't miss him or feel the need to give him a hug goodbye. He just walked out, I watched him leave and then I carried on with my work. I really don't want to start things with him once again. He has been contacting me and of course, the only reason he went into town was to see me but he's my past and as much as I fell head over heels, I most certainly am now back on my feet.
After work on Saturday, I rushed home. Packed my things in my suitcase of a bag and went to meet Matt for the weekend. I learnt that being stroppy is annoying and makes you miss a day of work, pear & blackcurrant crumble simply is amazing, half a glass of rum & orange juice actually makes me drunk, the American pie films will always be funny (Man, that chicks a MILF) FHM magazines are much better than Glamour, lazy mornings make me smile, germs can be laughed at, deers roam free in Nottingham and nothing beats a strawberry smoothie on a late Sunday afternoon...
To be honest, the more time I spend with Matt the more I seem to like him, which is quite annoying because liking him makes me want to spend more time with him (which has to be planned, as he's in Nottingham for a couple more months). I think it's a good thing that we haven't rushed into anything because I do like to get to know a person over a few months. You have to be friends as well as erm 'partners' so it's good to be able to feel comfortable around one another. Like for example, farting in cars (not me of course, I'm a girl. We don't pass wind haha) you know the silly little things? poking and name calling (apparently I have a donkey arse and chubby cheeks. Thanks) I still have my quiet moments of course. Sometimes I want to be open and say things but because I don't know how to put my thoughts into words, I seem to just go silent and pick at my nail varnish. I can be awkward at times. It's only because I disappear into my thoughts and go into my own little world. I'll be honest though, I can really see myself with this person and when I'm around him I just feel... happy.
Whilst traveling home on the train. I went into daydream mode and kept asking myself strange questions (all in my head of course) and also thinking about, You know those 'Hmm, imagine if the train crashes and I'll never see the people I love again thoughts? Or the 'If someone leaves their bag on the seat next to me, should I 1) run 2) scream BOMB or 3) don't over-react as it could simply be a rucksack with soggy jam sandwiches inside. It's not as if I have mild panic attacks, it's just when my Ipod battery dies, instead of having my 80s rockers to keep me company. I am simply left with my (over-active) imagination to worry me.
Anyway, just before the train was about to leave, a guy sat opposite me began reading a book called 'Childhood Interrupted. I'm not sure if everyone feels the same when you see somebody else reading a book that YOU have read previously. It's as if you have the right to interrupt them and say 'Wow, I've read that too!' Strange, because when somebody reads the metro or even the sun, you just leave them to it and would never dream of uttering the words 'Oh yeah, great tits on page 3' . But, when it's a book (that thousands of people have also read) it's as if it's the most amazing thing in the world. As if, you somehow have a 'connection' (I say whilst laughing) Well of course, it was like turrets and as he began turning the pages and getting into the book. I just HAD to say 'I read that a few weeks ago, it's really good'. He then looked at me over his book, smiled and said 'I think it's pretty shit to be honest, but I cannot sit on a train without reading something. I feel really on edge otherwise'
HAHA.
Until Next Time.
