Routine.

Of course we all need some form of it in our daily lives to keep ourselves somewhat ‘sane’ (well for me anyway) but because I get extremely bored easily, the routine I have turns into some sort of never ending chore. I scare myself at times because I find it so hard to concentrate and complete something. My mind is always wondering ‘what if’ and then begins to make new plans before the old ones have even begun.
My job, well it’s stress-free, undemanding and straightforward.

I walk in at 9am…

BOSS- ‘Sarah, what letter comes after S in the alphabet?’

ME- ‘Erm, A B C D E ….Erm T, why?’

BOSS- Yes please.

Boils kettle for ‘The Boss’ whilst checking my wind-swept hair in the posh Karen Millen mirror, turn on the radio to hear the song ‘Rockstar’ by Nickleback playing once again, have a quick gossip, check appointments for the day and then sit, swing in my chair, smile at patients and periodically stare at the clock. Of course it’s great to have a relaxing job, where you can pretty much sit for a whole hour and do nothing but talk about life, love and point out the handsome men walking past (I’ve only counted 5 in the past month) but I’m the type of girl who craves a challenge. I love to be stimulated in everything I do. Even though my job is just temporary, I’m feeling rather bored. This worries me because when tediousness intoxicates my mind, my instinct is to simply run away and find something new and exciting. I’ve only been there for a month but already I’m slowly planning my escape.

It’s 8:50pm on a Tuesday evening and the only plans I have tonight are to make myself another herbal tea, aim to do 350 sit-ups (with the help of Audioslave on my Ipod) paint my toe-nails and wait for Marley (bike riding gypsy) to call me at 11pm. We have our scheduled chats about life and I’m hoping he has some compelling gossip to make my uninteresting evening a little more significant. Of course the chat will consist of the usual ‘rocker guy is no good for you’ and his ‘Glastonbury speech’ filled with pure excitement. He does give very helpful advice, maybe because he’s 26 and has a little bit more life experience. He seems to push me in the right direction (which I need, because at times I feel so lost) I think he might be dating the Italian again (you know, the crazy one who threw his clothes out of her bedroom window?) I ought to update him on my current dating situation. I wonder what he’ll reply when I say the words
‘I want to be in a relationship with Matt’. Of course he’ll be pleased and somewhat relieved that I finally got over my love for ‘rocker guy’ and that old acoustic guitar.

Keeping on the subject of relationships. I’m going to be open and honest. I’ve been taking it slow for the past couple of months, not rushing into anything (which of course has been the right thing to do) but over the past week or so; it’s as if I’ve fallen (from a tree?) slightly. I always say, why wait around in life. If something feels right then just go for it BUT of course I have been hurt recently and am still slightly anxious. It’s true that the more time you spend with someone, the more you begin to like them. However, every couple of weeks just isn’t enough. But for the moment, it’ll have to stay that way until the miles become minutes.

I had a very odd dream last night…

I was married to Kurt Cobain, we lived in the woods in a cheap broken down caravan and we would collect leaves and branches every morning at 8am. Strangely enough, no drugs were used and he was as clean as Mr Sheen. But I specifically remember combing his hair with a nit comb, sitting on a bench and sharing sherbet lemons. It was seriously the oddest, yet most realistic dream I have ever had. I wonder what it meant? I’m embracing my inner gypsy or that I have nits and should check my hair? Or, my life feels broken and I need to stop eating so many sweets? Haha.