I’m chewing toffee as I write this. However, I’m not too sure why I’ve decided to type away my thoughts (or even chew away my jaw) because I have writers block, and I also promised myself that I wouldn’t give into my sweet addiction. So here I am at 11:30pm, listening to Alter Bridge and feeling somewhat content (with toffee stuck to my teeth) logging onto blog.co.uk to express myself once again…
So, for the past few weeks I have either been at work, sitting in coffee shops eating brownies, browsing Ebay for vintage goods, Nottingham, searching for buy one get one free malt loaf, grabbing a bargain or two in Primark, drinking rum with Matt and sleeping all afternoon, educating myself about STI’s (not that I’ve had chlamydia or anything) and feeling rather jealous as Marley is currently hanging out with The Kings of Leon at yet another festival…
I like to feel as though my life is going somewhere. Feeling stuck in a rut is something that I simply cannot tolerate, so I suppose that is why I am prone to jumping from one thing to the next. I have contemplated leaving my job and finding something a little more exciting but then I think to myself that it simply just temporary. To be honest it’s not too bad. Ok, the boss is a one hell of a jerk BUT at least I can sip cappuccino all morning, listen to music and remain stress free. There’s a job going on the other side of the business, so the phone hasn’t stopped ringing all week. It’s been rather entertaining as most of the applicants can hardly speak a word of English and shout ‘ERM, I CALL FOR JOB’ down the telephone. To be honest, it hasn’t been too successful. The majority of them sound as though they are calling up for a pizza and as for their names, well I doubt my boss would hire someone called ‘Ping Huw’ (yes, the penguin came to mind too) Anyway, hopefully we’ll find someone soon because I’m not too keen on working those extra shifts (even though his wife kindly bought me a sandwich and made me two cups of herbal tea) I think they really appreciate me helping out but I suppose I should stay positive and think about the additional pay I will be getting at the end of the month. Rather than feeling annoyed about missing out on my Wednesday morning lie-ins…
You see, the thing is when I’m really happy I find it hard to write. I’m not saying in order to be a successful writer you have to be depressed, but I believe it helps you to express yourself more. When I’m happy, my mind is miles away and it’s as if I cannot sit still. I get fidgety and instead of wanting to put my feelings into words, I just want to feel them (if that makes any sense?) I suppose over the past few weeks, I’ve been very content. One of the reasons being that I’ve been seeing Matt a lot more and well, we’re now ‘together’ which is really great. I knew a while ago that I wanted to be in a relationship with him, but of course I didn’t want to rush into anything and was still a bit scared of the whole ‘getting hurt again’. Of course at some point in our lives, we will get hurt. It’s a part of growing up and learning. Right now in my life, I’m looking for something more than just a fling (I’ve had quite a few in the past) and I’m glad that I’ve now met someone special who wants the same thing. I don’t plan the future because life is unpredictable, but I honestly hope and want things to work out. He means a lot to me and nothing makes me smile more than curling up next to him and eating malt loaf…
Until Next Time.
