I felt quite alone at work today. Nothing inspires me there so out of sheer boredom, I find myself picking at the chipped paint behind my desk and creating a mess. I've been a receptionist for over 5 months now. Meeting, greeting, filing, smiling and now I feel like a fucking robot.
However, I have the freedom to make as many herbal teas and daydream out of the window to the endless love songs on Heart.FM. Oooooo...I've just put on Blondie 'Heart of glass'. Why is it that whenever I listen to this song, I have the strongest urge to have a cigarette?? Which of course is very strange because I don't actually smoke.
I spent the afternoon with my friend Rob. We sat in Starbucks for an hour, drinking latte and chatting about his stereotypical 'One Tree Hill' life style (You know the usual sex, drugs and rock n roll??) hmmm anyway, he fell in love with a girl who had a boyfriend and things didn't turn out like the fairytale he wanted. He's been depressed over it for a while now and as much as I try and cheer him up, he just seems as if he is away in his own little world, searching for his Cinderella. I made him buy a journal today to write down all of his feelings. I suppose I want to help him get over this girl, who us causing him so much heartache. Hmmm however time is a healer I suppose.
I'm doing bonfire night on the cheap this year. Half price Tesco sausages and the next door neighbours fireworks (bargain you see) The handsome boyfriend has gone to the Arsenal match tonight soooo after my afternoon of coffee (and purchasing new brown leather boots) I've decided to put on a pair of PJ's and simply relax with 1980s power ballads.
I wrote Matt a letter a couple of nights ago. After the whole Adam/Diary drama (I wrote a blog about it but stupidly deleted it by mistake) things were a bit emotionally difficult for a couple of days. I remember feeling so lost and deeply upset about the whole situation, but I'm so happy that everything is finally ok with us. To cut a long story short. Matt read my diary, read something I wanted to erase from my memory about my ex boyfriend. The tears came, the disappointment washed over us and for a moment I thought I had lost everything. It has made me appreciate our relationship alot more. I've realised how important Matt is to me and I never want to loose him. I used to always feel so afraid to let somebody inside, petrified in fact. I know we all get hurt along the way, but after my ex it's as if I wanted to emotionally block off from people and close myself off from love. But then I met Matt...and after a while he healed my heartache and glued himself right in the middle of my mended heart. Hmmm.. I never want to peel him away....
Things to look forward to over the next month.
This weekend in Manchester (dinner at the hardrock cafe and escaping from life with Matt)
Alter Bridge gig (rock chick here I come)
Matt's 23rd Birthday (because I'll still be young, pert and 20 hehe)
Christmas shopping with Shantel (Hot chocolates and warm wooly hats)
Christmas time (mistletoe & wine)
The nutcracker (the ballet of course)
Right, it's time to do 350 sit-ups followed by a much needed pampering session.
Until Next time.
Sarah- the girl in her own little world
