'I'm not asleep... but that doesn't mean I'm awake'

'Can you put my wallet in the car drawer' the boyfriend casually asked, as he eagerly passed it to me with one of those cute grins on his face. 'Of course' I replied, completely oblivious to the actual reason why he wanted me to open up the drawer in the first place. However, once opened, he looked on curiously. His eyes glued to the drawer, eagerly waiting for me to find my 'surprise'. I wasn't expecting anything remotely exciting, other than a few tapes, a bic pen and a packet of half eaten polo's. But I must say, a complete surprise it was, as right before my eyes were.... Nickelback gig tickets (placed right at the back, next to a tape of The Carpenters greatest hits) You see, a couple of months ago I was informed that the tickets had sold out, so I accepted the fact that I wouldn't be able to see them perform, the day before my 21st birthday. But of course, the handsome man made sure that he would put a smile on my face that sunny afternoon, and he sure did...

The gig itself was amazing! It felt so great to get the chance to hear Chad Kroeger sing 'How you remind me', 'Photograph' and 'Far Away' live. They are such a talented band and I lost myself in the music, as I watched on completely mesmerized. Of course this was only one of my many beautiful birthday presents, I say as I sit here sipping coffee out of my new Starbucks mug, whilst typing away on my new laptop. I also received a cool fashion book, necklace, digital camera, brown gladiator sandals, pretty dress (cleavage galore) Guns n Roses rock t-shirt, a cute Abercrombie hoody (as I kept stealing my boyfriend's!) and was treated to a delicious sushi meal, followed by a road trip to York (which changed to Leeds due to the rain!) It was nice to get the chance to spend a little more time with one another. However, I always end up missing him more...

Waking up at 6am felt rather strange on Thursday morning, as for the first time in 6 whole months, I needed to get out of bed for something other than porridge and an episode of America's Next Top Model. I had to... wait for it....leave my warm cosy bed for WORK! You see I always set my alarm 15 minutes before I need to wake up, as I actually enjoy pressing the snooze button! It feels as if I'm having a lie-in, even though in actual fact I'm not. Trick of the mind of course... Anyway, the boyfriend stayed over, so he kindly drove me to my destination. I felt extremely nervous, therefore I felt myself being a slight bitch in the car, as I tried to control my 'panic attack'. I felt terrible, as he was trying to make me feel positive and I sat there, picking my nail varnish and telling him that I wanted to commit suicide. I applied more mascara, whilst he got some more petrol (I sat there inhaling of course) but then started a relaxing breathing exercise, that I once heard on a Paul Mckenna CD. After all, we are in control of ourselves and I knew my over emotional outbursts were just making my nerves feel even worse. Thankfully when I arrived, I had pulled myself together (ish) and once out of the car, I began walking towards the store in my clicking heels, hoping that I had simply worried over nothing (which is just what I had done. Typical)

The clothes store wasn't due to open till Saturday morning, but they needed a few people to help out. I didn't realise it would be so much hard work! I stayed for over 10 hours and when I informed my boss at 7:15pm that I needed to leave, she gave me a look as if to say 'No, keep unpacking those shoes!!' but I headed home anyway, as my bus is every hour after 6pm and I didn't want to be waiting around like a marshmallow. The following day, one of the manager's asked us why we left so early and went on to give us a speech about commitment. It went a little like this...

'I was here till 10:30pm last night, helping out and wanting to make this store a success! Whilst a few of you left early, leaving us with all of the work. I have a daughter and a life you know!!'

I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or hit her on the head with my evian bottle. I was slaving away for 10 fucking hours and then had to get two buses home. She spent most of the day, talking on her mobile, telling people what to do, eating biscuits and shopping at Primark! (two days in a row, she came in with bags full of clothes, informing us all she had a lovely afternoon spending her money on pretty dresses) and could then drive home at whatever time she felt. She was obviously only pissed off, as when the slaves went home, she had to actually do some form of work...

I left work at 7pm on Saturday evening with a few new clothes to wear for uniform (40% staff discount) and was greeted once again by the handsome man (who made me a bowl of crunchy cereal and made sure I put my feet up with a cup of tea too. Bless) It felt lovely to feel exhausted. I haven't tired myself out in months, therefore I used all of my energy on over-thinking. However, the only thing I can think about right now is SLEEP! I'm only working for 3 months over the summer, so hopefully time will pass by really quickly. I worked 9am- 1pm today, however I was left to fend for myself in a busy clothes store (without any training) whilst the manager's sat in the back, scoffing their fat arses with Maryland cookies. I found this extremely rude, as I kept making mistakes on the till and all they could do was laugh at me. Of course without training, I am unable to do my job properly! I felt quite angry, as I stood there listening to 'Just dance' by Lady GaGa for the 100th time (we only have 1 CD you see, so my whole morning felt like ground hog day) I had a queue of people waiting to go into the changing rooms, another few waiting to be served and other people tapping me on the shoulder, asking me to fetch bags, shoes, skirts and all sorts. Thank fuck I am now home, curled up in my warm hoody and intoxicating myself with caffiene! Any longer and I think I might have killed myself with a coat hanger and a leopard print belt...

Hmmm a lavender scented bath, followed by an early night with Sex & the city?

Indeed....